Category Archives: Intersectionality

“You’ve got to step up your game!”

by Camilla Beghin

Summer 2020, Covid-19 shut the world down. Why not restart dating then? Needless to say, I realised soon that Covid had changed the dating scene. That is when a friend of mine, let’s call him Harry, encouraged me to try online dating. Just before, like some character from a fairytale preparing me for a quest, he told me: “You have to step up your game!” He then informed me that as a white, European man, getting matches is a mission.
Throughout the years, he was not the only man who mentioned to me the difficulties within the online dating world.

Two years later, I realise the complexity of online dating. There are so many hierarchies: between genders, among males and between ethnicities. So, as online dating is increasingly more relevant in the after-pandemic in the UK (Gevers, 2021), I want to present these dynamics.

The above figure shows the tendency of online dating use from the start of the pandemic in the UK. The surge in August can be associated with an easing of the restriction imposed by the government, allowing more people to socialise (Gevers, 2021).

Females at the top

Following Mead’s model of society and gender (1935), it supports a hierarchy that places men as dominant and females as dominated (applicable to most aspects of social life). Online dating seems an exception. Let’s take the case of Tinder, the most used online dating app for my age group (18-29) (Statista, 2022): the data suggests there were 9 men for every woman in 2019. This reverses the traditional power roles. Women have more choice. We stand at the top of the hierarchy deciding the rules. Turns out, Harry is right: men have to step up their game! For a couple of matches he got on Tinder that summer, I would get about 50: I had much more choice.

But do women really have power? I had to step up my game too. How? By conforming to the traditional ways of “doing gender” through gender performance (see Messner, 2000; West and Zimmerman, 1987). Both Harry and I would choose the best pictures, select the best information about us. Some people go further. They use deception to perform gender to appear attractive (see Ankee and Yazdanifard, 2015). So yes, women have more power, but within the traditional gender performance boundaries.

Fessler, 2017

Men’s double hierarchy

Harry did not realise that he was also part of a male hierarchy. Being at its top means getting more matches. This is something another friend, let’s call him Tom, told me: in Exeter he has to compete with rugby lads and various sporty men; he struggles to stand out. After talking with various girls, I realised this fits the male hierarchy suggested by Connell and Messerschmidt (2005). We have 3 main types of men, and intersections of them:

• Hegemonic males: physically active and intellectually or socially powerful.
• Complicit males: receiving benefits of patriarchy.
• Subordinated males: minorities, often part of LGBTQ+.

I can see similar patterns on Tinder. Men try to prove their level of masculinity between hegemonic and complicit (as I participated in heterosexual dating, I cannot speak for the last group). So they show off sport abilities, drinking habits, and their degrees as opposed to simply their hobbies and passions.
This revealed men have a double struggle: they have less power than women and they compete to come across as more desirable by performing the “best” masculinity.

Intersectionality with ethnicity

We cannot only consider gender in online dating: ethnicity is equally important. In their study in the USA, Lin and Lundquist (2013) prove how ethnicity plays a strong part in dating selection. They were analysing the intersection between race, education and gender to understand tendencies in online dating. So, they discovered a tendency for women to respond to men of similar ethnicity or higher, whilst non-black man to ignore black women. This complicated the hierarchy adding other ladders.
I experience how my Italian origin was perceived as more “exotic”, so more attractive by British men. As a white, Italian woman I used it to step up my game, but I am conscious that some women’s ethnicity might be a factor damaging their chances.

So, ethnicity complicates the previous hierarchies. Some ethnicities (usually white) are considered advantaged compared to others. Also, within the same ethnicity, there is a tendency to reproduce gender hierarchies. Men over women.

My conclusions

• Heterosexual online dating has different hierarchies: between women and men, among men, between ethnicities.
• Both genders “perform gender”
• Ethnicity plays an important role: complicating the hierarchies.

As a white, “exotic”, woman it worked for me. Was I in a different position in the hierarchy, I would be wondering just as Tom: why the heck am I doing this to myself?

Bibliography:

Ankee, A.W. and Yazdanifard, R (2015) The Review of the Ugly Truth and Negative Aspects of Online Dating, Global Journal of Management and Business Research: E-Marketing. 15(4).

Chen, O. (2022) You are more than Tinder. online Available at: https://ozchen.com/you-are-more-than-tinder/Accessed: 15 March 2022.

Cherednichenko, S. (2020) Top 10 Dating Apps in 2020, mobindustry. online Available at: https://medium.com/mobindustry/top-10-dating-apps-in-2020-1f35b0c624b6 Accessed: 15 March 2022.

Connell, R.W. and Messerschmidt, J.W. (2005) Hegemonic Masculinity: Rethinking the Concept, Gender & Society. 19(6): 829-859.

Fessler, L. (2017) Tinder now shows its premium customers who likes them – even when the feeling’s not mutual., Quartz. online Available at: https://qz.com/1064995/tinder-gold-premium-membership-likes-me-function-can-i-see-who-already-swiped-right-on-me-on-tinder/ Accessed: 15 March 2022

Gevers, A. (2021) Online Dating in Europe, ComScore. online Available at: https://www.comscore.com/Insights/Blog/Online-Dating-in-Europe Accessed: 4 March 2022.

Lin, K. and Lundquist, J. (2013) Mate Selection in Cyberspace: The Intersection of Race, Gender, and Education, American Journal of Sociology. 119(1): 183.215.

Mead, M. (1935) Sex and temperament in three primitive societies. New York: William Morrow.

Messner, M.A. (2000) Barbie Girls Versus Sea Monsters: Children Constructing Gender, Gender & Society. 14(6): 765-784.

Statista (2022) Share of individuals who were current or past users of online dating sites and apps in the United Kingdom (UK) in June 2017, by age group, Statista. online Available at: https://www.statista.com/statistics/714211/online-dating-site-and-app-usage-in-the-united-kingdom-by-age-group/ Accessed: 5 March 2022.

West, C. and Zimmerman, D.H. (1987) Doing Gender, Gender & Society. 1(2): 125-151.

 

 

 

 

 

‘I’m not like other girls’

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by Paige Parsons

…Hmm, not like other girls, or a case of internalised misogyny?

Since I was little, I have heard this comment voiced from many women, often as a way to distance from ‘typical’ perceptions of femininity. Maybe from women who don’t like painting their nails, or wearing makeup, but who like to drink pints, those who swear (too vulgar!), or burp (definitely not ‘lady like’- whatever that means).

This comment, escaped from the mouths of many (myself included), is both familiar and complicated. What does it mean to be like other girls? Why are you not one of them?

We know women are weak, erratically emotional, and exist to please the gaze of men, or so they have us believe. If this is what women are bound by, then perhaps I’m not like other girls either.

Now, I know this is based on a rigid framework of stereotypes, stemming from our need to label our identity to navigate the world (Delphy, 1993). But as a re-occurring observation I have made, and continue to make, it has consequences for the respect (or lack of) for femininity.

‘I’m not like other girls’ holds other women in a box of confinement (one labelled girly girls, perhaps), their box placed lower on the hierarchy of gender. Girly girls, as we know them, can be explored through an emphasized femininity (see Connell, 1987). This is the expectation of women to conform to a desirable view of femininity, an ideal characterised by subordination (to men) and heterosexuality (having sexual feelings for the opposite sex).

Now, I do not want to blame women (or men) here….everybody has been boxed by the system that is patriarchy, a social system where power is gendered so that masculinity is dominant (Johnson, 2006).

This comment does not simply undermine other women purposefully (although it continues to spread narratives that paint femininity as lesser). Rather, society has a case of internalised misogyny (Manne, 2018), where sexist ideas and disrespect towards women (and femininity) have been engrained into our thoughts.

What does this mean?

We have internalised ideas that women as weak, inferior and have certain characteristics, e.g., appearance obsessed (we might blame beauty/advertisement organisations) or needing a man to feel fulfilled (we might thank traditional fairy tales), but let’s leave that for another day.

These ideas are expressed through our actions, towards ourselves (self-regulation and objectification, see Enson, 2017) and towards other women. Let’s say… the assumption that women should have less sex than men as to maintain ‘purity’ and ‘innocence’…. (Ironic right, as women are apparently existent for the sexual pleasure of men).

Having internalised misogynistic attitudes, distance from these may foster feelings of superiority, moving one closer to ideas of masculinity. I mean, in a patriarchal society, who can blame us? We have learnt that it provides acceptance in the social world….

But, through devaluing other women, we do not increase our own value (on a wide scale, anyhow), but rather, we maintain sexist ideas that continue to mobilise the box that is femininity.

So, through saying (and believing) ‘I’m not like other girls’, we continue to fragment femininity, creating competition and tension between women. Consequently, the patriarchy is supported as well as the division that is central to its power.

Let’s not forget, gender is fluid (Beasley, 2005). An individual may express the comment as to genuinely explore and signal a lack of alignment with the female identity. We must reflect on comments, thoughts, and actions as to question how and why we position ourselves and others, particularly as meaning is communicated through the language we use (Crawford, 1995).

Who are these other girls?

The other girls… Are they able-bodied? Are they white? Are they black? Are they young? Are the old? Are they slim? Are they fat?

These are important questions. The answers reflect the way normative (and emphasized) femininity has been presented to us. Whether that is through the media, television, books, or beauty industries. The way we recognise the ‘other’ girls can impact how we reconcile, respect or celebrate feminine identities.

Juliehangart 2020

 

So, although an innocent comment at first, ‘I’m not like other girls’ reinforces femininity as an inferior identity. These repetitive interactions nurture misogynistic attitudes (Manne, 2018), shedding light on the ways women are subtly subordinated.

Remember, men have internalised this too. It is not masculinity vs. femininity, but rather patriarchy vs. us all.

 

So yeah, I am like other girls: strong, diverse, intelligent, interesting, wonderful, and complexly unique; remembering that one expression of gender is no more valid than another.

References

Beasley, C. (2005) Gender and Sexuality: critical theories, critical thinkers. London: SAGE Publications.

Connell, R. W. (1987) Gender and Power. Society, the Person and Sexual Politics. Cambridge: Polity Press.

Crawford, M. (1995) Talking Difference: On Gender and Language. London: SAGE Publications.

Delphy, C. (1993) ‘Rethinking Sex and Gender’, Women’s Studies International Forum, 16(1), pp1-9.

Enson, S. (2017) ‘Evaluating the impact of hyper-sexualisation on the lives of young people.’ British Journal of School Nursing. 12(6), pp. 274-278.

Johnson, A.G. (2006) Privilege, Power, and Difference. 2nd Edn. New York: McGraw- Hill.

Juliehangart (2020). Available at: https://www.demilked.com/not-like-other-girls-comic-julie-hang/ (Accessed on 7th March 2022).

Manne, K. (2018) Down girl: the logics of misogyny. New York: Oxford University Press.

Rajagopalan, H. (2017). Comic: What is Intersectional Feminism? Available at: https://feminisminindia.com/2017/04/08/comic-intersectional-feminism/ (Accessed on 7th March 2022)

Stanford, Q. (2019) Available at: https://allears.net/2019/11/27/theres-big-changes-coming-to-snow-whites-scary-adventures-in-disneyland-next-year/ (Accessed on 7th March 2022)

Vector (2021). Available at: https://www.shutterstock.com/image-vector/multiracial-women-different-figure-type-size-1263222466 (Accessed on: 7th March 2022)

Discovering an Old Classic Book: “Ain’t I a Woman: Black Women and Feminism” by Bell Hooks

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Book review by Hameedat Ogunlayi

 

 

As a budding young feminist, I decided to read and review an old classic book “Ain’t I a Woman: Black Women and Feminism”, which was one of the ground-breaking contributions to black feminist scholarship in the 20th century. This was the first book published by Gloria Watkins in 1981, better known by her pen name, Bell Hooks. She is an American author, professor, feminist and social activist with over 30 books published and numerous scholarly articles mainly focused on race, gender, class and capitalism.

During the period that this was written, mainstream feminism was dominated by white middle-class women and the plight of black women was ignored as it did not serve their opportunistic interests. As a result, much of the feminist literature that existed then were both racist and sexist. Hooks described that white feminist scholars “simply ignored the existence of black women or wrote about them using common sexist and racist stereotypes”. White feminists also failed to challenge “the racist-sexist tendency to use the word ‘woman’ to refer solely to white women”. Therefore, Hooks was adamant for black women to take up their rightful space in the feminist discourse.

This book covered a wide range of subjects with key historical context, including the impact of sexism on black women during slavery, the devaluation of black womanhood, black male sexism, racism within the feminist movement and the involvement of black women with feminism. In this book, Hooks writes about the extent of the negative tropes used to devalue black womanhood and how this evolved from the 17th century to the 20th century. The most dominant negative stereotype was that black women were “sexually depraved, immoral and loose” which originated from slavery but continued to have lasting impact long after. This trope was used to justify the sexual assault of black women by both white and black men, as they were seen as available and eager.

Hooks also discussed the rift that sexism caused between black men and black women. This became most evident during the civil rights movement, where black women were conditioned to believe that “to cast a vote in favour of women’s liberation, was to cast a vote against black liberation” as written by Hooks.

 

Therefore, the black liberation movement became a movement pushing for the establishment of black patriarchy and a tool for black men to regain their ‘masculinity’, while the suffering of black women was disregarded.

As a relatively novice reader of black feminist literature myself, I found this to be a great introduction into the theory of black feminism. The book provided an in-depth insight into the plight of black women. Although, some beginners may find this to be quite a dense read, so the section I would most recommend is the first chapter on ‘Sexism and the Black Female Slave Experience’. I found this to be the most enlightening, as it explains how the subjugation of black women originated and how they were equally oppressed by sexism and racism.

Despite the fact that this book was published over 40 years ago, I was still able to relate to some key aspects. One part that particularly resonated with me was that notion that majority of black women in the 20th century felt the most oppressive force in their lives was racism not sexism. Mainly because black women were often forced to pick between their race or their gender. To which hooks wrote “the sad irony is of course that black women are often most victimised by the very sexism we refuse to collectively identify as an oppressive force”. This was before the concept of ‘intersectionality’ was coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw in 1989, who also acknowledged that black women were often excluded from feminist theory and anti-racist politics, even though they were the most marginalised within these groups.

Personally, as a young black woman, reading this book has empowered me to defy the roles and tropes that have been assigned to black women in society. It has altered my perspective and has made me revaluate the extent to which I view sexism as an oppressive force in my life. Therefore, I implore all black women to read this book to gain further understanding of the origins of our struggles. I also think this is an important read for non-black women and black men who are keen to understand more about intersectionality and how their struggles differ from that of black women’s, who are doubly impacted by racism and sexism.

I believe this is still a very relevant and revolutionary piece of work and I encourage all those who claim to be feminists or advocates of women’s rights to have a read. For those interested in reading more on black feminist literature, an extensive reading list can be found here.

 

Bibliography

Hooks, B., 2014. Ain’t I A Woman: Black women and feminism. New York, NY: Routledge.

 

Crenshaw, K., 1989. Demarginalizing the intersection of race and sex: A black feminist critique of antidiscrimination doctrine, feminist theory and antiracist politics. u. Chi. Legal f., p.139.

 

 

 

 

 

 

‘Prejudice and hostility experienced/expected as a gay Asian man in western society’

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Katsuya Hasegawa

‘no Asians please’ – Tseng (2019)

Unfortunately, this shocking phrase is commonly seen on gay dating apps in Western countries. Although globalization proceeds and the idea of diversity on workplace is spread over the world compared to the last century, hegemonic norm such as White heteronormativity still strongly exists.

This rigid viewpoint tends to distort our sight for considering each subordinated case. In other words, instead of seeing minority issues (like a gay Asian man in Western countries) as a sum of each identity (e.g., a gay AND an Asian man), it leads to the separatable tendency (e.g., a gay OR an Asian man). What will be tackled in this blog is to rethink the hidden bias and help listen to these invisible voices.

A ‘gay’ Asian man – gay’s struggle

In everyday life, gay people’s struggles and efforts are normally invisible. Just imagine a situation where you are talking with your friends at the university campus. Your friends may say (if you are male) ‘Do you have a girlfriend?’ If this happens to gay men, they might need to correct them. ‘No, I don’t have a girlfriend. I have a boyfriend instead.’

Existences of straight-acting gay individuals are often invisible in heterosexual discourses. One of the examples is when gay people come out about their sexuality. If their behaviour does not look like a gay stereotype (e.g., feminine), they may be surprised and say something like ‘but you don’t look gay.’

When it comes to dating scene, homosexuals have disadvantages in finding their dates. For example, a classroom or workplace is one of the common situations for heterosexuals to find their dates. However, for homosexuals, it is risky to ask someone to go on a date in these situations because they do not know whether the person is also homosexual. At worst, the person might be anti-gay, spread insidious rumours, and bully you. Because of this, gay people have to use gay mobile apps or visit gay bars to meet their dates.

A gay ‘Asian man’ – Asian man’s struggle

It is often said that ‘Asian men’ are less masculine than other races’ men (Lin and Lundquist, 2013). This stereotype makes living in western society hard for Asian men. As an Asian guy living in the UK, I have experienced this notion. While queuing up for the checkouts, some guys cut in front of me. This only happened to me and I was the only non-white customer.

Another example of this is a heterosexual dating. According to Lin and Lundquist (2013), Asian women receive relatively many messages from almost all races, while it hardly happens to Asian men because of the less masculine image.

In homosexual settings, there is an actual prejudice against Asian men. In Tseng’s work (2019), Anti-Asian or ‘no Asian’ is often seen on gay dating apps. Even though (luckily) someone likes or at least does not mind chatting with an Asian guy, the next bias is ‘I’m for smooth/slim Asian.’ The stereotype of Asian men is non-hairy, slim, and/or subordinate. If a picture sent from the Asian guy to the white guy and it does not match the stereotypical image, the reaction will be something like ‘Oh, you are hairy…’

 

Intersectionality – problems of a ‘gay’ and ‘Asian’ ‘man’

There is a certain attempt to get beyond the existing solution to any bias or prejudice. This concept is called ‘Intersectionality’. Originally this was proposed through a recognition and analysis of black women’s identities (Crenshaw, 1989). Under the orthodox feminism or social norm, matters to black women were dealt with as either ‘race’ matter OR ‘gender’ matter, not as ‘race’ AND ‘gender’. Literally, this approach focuses on the intersection of various scales.

As mentioned above, there are prejudices based on one’s sexuality, nationality, and gender. One dominant element does not guarantee the invariant position when it is with some other element, namely male (as dominant) with Asian (as subordinate). Additionally, the existence of minorities within each minority should be taken into consideration (e.g., gay Asian). The important thing relating to the intersectionality here is that these issues do not separately but simultaneously exist. We cannot reduce one’s problem into either a gay issue, Asian issue, or male issue. All different types should be counted at the same time.

 

For our future

Finally, if you are struggling with any issue which you think is because of bias, don’t hesitate to say it. Remaining in silence cannot change you or the social situation. If you know someone who is suffering from any social issue, please listen to the person’s voice. Ignoring what marginalised people have to say is the same as discriminating them.  Let’s take action to change from a ‘gay or Asian man’ issue to a ‘gay and Asian man’ issue and to make the invisible intersections visible!

 

 

Further readings:

Bader, S. (2017). ‘Asian Men as Targets of Sexual Racism in the Gay Community’, American Cultural Studies Capstone Research Papers. 8.

https://cedar.wwu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1007&context=fairhaven_acscapstone&httpsredir=1&referer=

Bracho, C. A. and Hayes, C. (2020) ‘Gay voices without intersectionality is White supremacy: narratives of gay and lesbian teachers of color on teaching and learning’, International journal of qualitative studies in education, vol. 33, No. 6, pp. 583-592.

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/09518398.2020.1751897

Crenshaw, K. (1989) ‘Demarginalizing the Intersection of Race and Sex: A Black Feminist Critique of Antidiscrimination Doctrine, Feminist Theory and Antiracist Politics’, University of Chicago Legal Forum, vol. 1989, pp. 139-168.

https://heinonline.org/HOL/Page?collection=journals&handle=hein.journals/uchclf1989&id=143&men_tab=srchresults

Jones, O. (2016). ‘No Asians, no black people. Why do gay people tolerate blatant racism’, The Guardian, November.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/nov/24/no-asians-no-blacks-gay-people-racism

Lin, KH. and Lundquist, J. (2013) ‘Mate Selection in Cyberspace: The Intersection of Race, Gender, and Education 1’, American Journal of Sociology, vol. 119, No. 1, pp. 183-215.

https://www.journals.uchicago.edu/doi/full/10.1086/673129

Mark, A.L. (ed.) (2018) ‘This Is What It’s Like To Travel As A Gay Asian Man’, Forbes, June.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/loisaltermark/2018/06/06/this-is-what-its-like-to-travel-as-a-gay-asian-man/