Category Archives: Culture

“You’ve got to step up your game!”

by Camilla Beghin

Summer 2020, Covid-19 shut the world down. Why not restart dating then? Needless to say, I realised soon that Covid had changed the dating scene. That is when a friend of mine, let’s call him Harry, encouraged me to try online dating. Just before, like some character from a fairytale preparing me for a quest, he told me: “You have to step up your game!” He then informed me that as a white, European man, getting matches is a mission.
Throughout the years, he was not the only man who mentioned to me the difficulties within the online dating world.

Two years later, I realise the complexity of online dating. There are so many hierarchies: between genders, among males and between ethnicities. So, as online dating is increasingly more relevant in the after-pandemic in the UK (Gevers, 2021), I want to present these dynamics.

The above figure shows the tendency of online dating use from the start of the pandemic in the UK. The surge in August can be associated with an easing of the restriction imposed by the government, allowing more people to socialise (Gevers, 2021).

Females at the top

Following Mead’s model of society and gender (1935), it supports a hierarchy that places men as dominant and females as dominated (applicable to most aspects of social life). Online dating seems an exception. Let’s take the case of Tinder, the most used online dating app for my age group (18-29) (Statista, 2022): the data suggests there were 9 men for every woman in 2019. This reverses the traditional power roles. Women have more choice. We stand at the top of the hierarchy deciding the rules. Turns out, Harry is right: men have to step up their game! For a couple of matches he got on Tinder that summer, I would get about 50: I had much more choice.

But do women really have power? I had to step up my game too. How? By conforming to the traditional ways of “doing gender” through gender performance (see Messner, 2000; West and Zimmerman, 1987). Both Harry and I would choose the best pictures, select the best information about us. Some people go further. They use deception to perform gender to appear attractive (see Ankee and Yazdanifard, 2015). So yes, women have more power, but within the traditional gender performance boundaries.

Fessler, 2017

Men’s double hierarchy

Harry did not realise that he was also part of a male hierarchy. Being at its top means getting more matches. This is something another friend, let’s call him Tom, told me: in Exeter he has to compete with rugby lads and various sporty men; he struggles to stand out. After talking with various girls, I realised this fits the male hierarchy suggested by Connell and Messerschmidt (2005). We have 3 main types of men, and intersections of them:

• Hegemonic males: physically active and intellectually or socially powerful.
• Complicit males: receiving benefits of patriarchy.
• Subordinated males: minorities, often part of LGBTQ+.

I can see similar patterns on Tinder. Men try to prove their level of masculinity between hegemonic and complicit (as I participated in heterosexual dating, I cannot speak for the last group). So they show off sport abilities, drinking habits, and their degrees as opposed to simply their hobbies and passions.
This revealed men have a double struggle: they have less power than women and they compete to come across as more desirable by performing the “best” masculinity.

Intersectionality with ethnicity

We cannot only consider gender in online dating: ethnicity is equally important. In their study in the USA, Lin and Lundquist (2013) prove how ethnicity plays a strong part in dating selection. They were analysing the intersection between race, education and gender to understand tendencies in online dating. So, they discovered a tendency for women to respond to men of similar ethnicity or higher, whilst non-black man to ignore black women. This complicated the hierarchy adding other ladders.
I experience how my Italian origin was perceived as more “exotic”, so more attractive by British men. As a white, Italian woman I used it to step up my game, but I am conscious that some women’s ethnicity might be a factor damaging their chances.

So, ethnicity complicates the previous hierarchies. Some ethnicities (usually white) are considered advantaged compared to others. Also, within the same ethnicity, there is a tendency to reproduce gender hierarchies. Men over women.

My conclusions

• Heterosexual online dating has different hierarchies: between women and men, among men, between ethnicities.
• Both genders “perform gender”
• Ethnicity plays an important role: complicating the hierarchies.

As a white, “exotic”, woman it worked for me. Was I in a different position in the hierarchy, I would be wondering just as Tom: why the heck am I doing this to myself?

Bibliography:

Ankee, A.W. and Yazdanifard, R (2015) The Review of the Ugly Truth and Negative Aspects of Online Dating, Global Journal of Management and Business Research: E-Marketing. 15(4).

Chen, O. (2022) You are more than Tinder. online Available at: https://ozchen.com/you-are-more-than-tinder/Accessed: 15 March 2022.

Cherednichenko, S. (2020) Top 10 Dating Apps in 2020, mobindustry. online Available at: https://medium.com/mobindustry/top-10-dating-apps-in-2020-1f35b0c624b6 Accessed: 15 March 2022.

Connell, R.W. and Messerschmidt, J.W. (2005) Hegemonic Masculinity: Rethinking the Concept, Gender & Society. 19(6): 829-859.

Fessler, L. (2017) Tinder now shows its premium customers who likes them – even when the feeling’s not mutual., Quartz. online Available at: https://qz.com/1064995/tinder-gold-premium-membership-likes-me-function-can-i-see-who-already-swiped-right-on-me-on-tinder/ Accessed: 15 March 2022

Gevers, A. (2021) Online Dating in Europe, ComScore. online Available at: https://www.comscore.com/Insights/Blog/Online-Dating-in-Europe Accessed: 4 March 2022.

Lin, K. and Lundquist, J. (2013) Mate Selection in Cyberspace: The Intersection of Race, Gender, and Education, American Journal of Sociology. 119(1): 183.215.

Mead, M. (1935) Sex and temperament in three primitive societies. New York: William Morrow.

Messner, M.A. (2000) Barbie Girls Versus Sea Monsters: Children Constructing Gender, Gender & Society. 14(6): 765-784.

Statista (2022) Share of individuals who were current or past users of online dating sites and apps in the United Kingdom (UK) in June 2017, by age group, Statista. online Available at: https://www.statista.com/statistics/714211/online-dating-site-and-app-usage-in-the-united-kingdom-by-age-group/ Accessed: 5 March 2022.

West, C. and Zimmerman, D.H. (1987) Doing Gender, Gender & Society. 1(2): 125-151.

 

 

 

 

 

‘’Say good-bye to gender stereotype’’: how is gender portrayed  in the lyrics of pop music?

by Stephanie Pang

Music is seen as an expressive tool where individuals can express their emotions. We often use music for many different purposes e.g. aesthetic appreciation or religious worship. However, music is often a battlefield for gender and inequality issues. Gender stereotyping is not a new phenomenon in music. During the 1980s, the majority of women in music videos were dressed sexily (Gow, 1996) while men  are seen as masculine figures and carry hegemonic masculinity.

How Males are portrayed in the songs sung by artists

When listening to music, especially songs sang by female singers, it comes as un surprising that men are portrayed as having all the power. The lyrics “I’ll be a  fearless leader and I’d be an alpha type’’ (The Man, Taylor Swift), shows that the  image of a top manager in society includes a successful man with a strong  masculine presence (Acker, 1990). Messner (2000) supported this view stating that  men usually hold position e.g. head coach and assistant coach.

Male are also seen as more privileged than females, as they are usually ‘’ranking in  dollars, and getting bitches and models’’ (The man, Taylor Swift). This shows that  men are like free spirit animals who constantly search for dreams and living the best  of their life (Hyden & McCandless ,1983). And, lyrics ‘I’d be just like Leo in Saint  Tropez’ (The Man, Taylor Swift) shows that men are like playboys, and Leonardo  DiCaprio (fun fact… Leo has a reputation for flirting with different girls, he always  takes his girl friends to have fun in Saint Tropez).

Aside from that, men are portrayed as capable of breaking women’s hearts (shame  on them….). This is demonstrated in lyrics “How’s your heart after breaking mine?” (Taylor Swift, Mr. Perfectly Fine), the female singer was devastated after being left by a guy. Similarly, another lyric ‘’Pretends he doesn’t know that he’s the reason why you’re drowning….’’ (Taylor Swift, ‘I know you were trouble) conveys the same  message. Men being a heartbreaker can be linked to Click and Kramer (2007)’s view  that women are perceived to be the ones who constantly have their hearts broken  and wish for shooting stars.

How females are portrayed in the songs 

If men are usually seen as powerful and masculine? Does that mean women are  being seen to having the same characteristics as well??

Well… the answer is probably not. Women are typically portrayed as fragile and  weak in songs sung by female singers, as they tend to break down more than men  after a relationship ends. This is evident in lyrics ‘Everything that I do reminds me of  you, and the clothes you left, they smell just like you’ (Avril Lavigne, when you’re  gone). This showed that women were unable to let go of the men and she still  believes that the clothes he left smelled like him. Therefore, women are seen as  weak and needy (Lisara ,2014).

Other than that, in songs sung by male singers, women are viewed as objects that  are constantly being view by men. Sexual objectification occurred through body  representation e.g. sexy clothing, body parts (Flynn et al, 2016). This can be seen in  lyrics, ‘’Missing more than just your body’’ (Justin Bieber, sorry), ’Everyone else in  the room can see it, everyone else but you’’ (One Direction’s What makes you  beautiful). These lyrics have shown that man has missed the body of the female he  is speaking of ,and it also indicates that a woman’s body is still meant to be touched, even if the man doesn’t deserve it due to his mistakes. Once again, female is being  seen as object more than male artists (Flynn et al, 2016).

However, women are not always seen to be portrayed as weak and sexy figures.  Songs that are mostly sung by female artists themselves try to fight against  marginalization and push for equal rights as well as empowering women (Nwabueze,  2019). Lyrics ‘’I don’t need a man to be holding me too tight’ (Kesha, women) ‘’She’s  on top of the world, hottest of the hottest girls’’ (Alicia Keys, Girl on fire) showed that  women can live a better live by themselves. This is in consistent with Nwabueze  (2019)’s findings that women are seen to be able to rule and bring positive changes to the world. Yet, we can also argue that only songs sung by female artists are able  to portrayed woman in a positive way.

 

 

To our future

Men and women are portrayed differently as we live in a world where certain  activities are classified as masculine or feminine (West & Zimmerman, 1987).  Therefore, we can see that gender is socially scripted and that men and women  must perform a set of performances in order to fit into society.

I think it is crucial for us to achieve gender inequality in our society as young adults  always listens to pop music. Music will influence their perceptions of relationship, sex and gender roles. As a result, the music industry has a big impact on gender  construction. To achieve gender equality, I believe more female composers and  singers as well as more positive lyrics about women are needed.

(life is not only about competition; it is also about  collaboration between men and women, therefore, men and women must be treated  equally)

Reference:

Acker. J (1990). Hierarchies, jobs, bodies: A theory of Gendered organization, Gender & Society, 4(2),  pp.139-158,

https://doi.org/10.1177/089124390004002002

Click. A. M & Kramer. W. M (2007) Reflections on a century of living: gendered differences in  mainstream popular songs, Popular Communication, 5(4), pp.241-262,

https://doi.org/10.1080/15405700701608915

Flynn. A. M & Craig. M. C & Anderson. N. C & Holody. J. K (2016), objectification in popular music lyrics: An  examination of gender and genre differences, Sex roles, 75, pp. 164-176, DOI 10.1007/s11199-016-0592-3

Gow. J (2009). Reconsidering gender roles on MTV: Depictions in the most popular music videos of the  early 1990s, Communication reports, 9(2), pp. 151-161, DOI: 10.1080/08934219609367647

Hyden. C & McCandless. J (1983). Men and women as portrayed in the lyrics of contemporary music,  Popular music & Society, 9(2), pp.19-26, DOI: 10.1080/03007768308591210

Lisara. A (2014). The Portryal of Women in Katy Perry’s selected song lyrics, Passage, 2(2), pp.61- 68, Available at: file:///Users/pangwingtakstephanie/Downloads/21156-47562-1-PB%20(2).pdf (Accessed: 18 March)

Messner. A. M (2000). Barbie girls versus sea monsters, children constructing gender, Gender &  Society, 14(6), pp.765-784, Available at:

https://vle.exeter.ac.uk/pluginfile.php/2414056/mod_resource/content/1/Barbiegirlsvsseamonsters.pdf (Accessed 14 February)

Nwabueze. C (2009). Pop Music, literature and gender: perceptions of womanhood in Grande’s ‘’God  is a woman’’ and Achebe’s Things Fall Apart, Litinfinite Journal, pp.23-33, Available at  :10.47365/litinfinite.1.1.2019.23-33 (Accessed 15 March)

West. C & Zimmerman. H.D (1987). Doing Gender, Gender and Society, 1(2), pp. 125-151, Available  at: https://www.jstor.org/stable/189945 (Accessed 7 March 2022)

Post-Lockdown Femininity Fears: The Return of Revenge Dressing!

by Ellie Gibb

Ditch the joggers, switch off the X-BOX, put down the pint and slap on some lippy. Is that how you do it?

Is it just me or did living, working and studying from home make me more “laddish”? And living with boys throughout lockdown did not help!

Stay at Home De-Feminised Fashion.

Fashion has long been a product of the social climate. Nowhere has this been more apparent than during COVID-19. The pandemic has opened the market for a new stay at home fashion. Never has loungewear, jogging bottoms and pyjamas been so popular.

According to City A.M. – London’s most-read financial and business newspaper – In 2020, loungewear sales rose 1,303%.

Every day I was noticing a blurring between my feminine and masculine side. I had always been a bit of a tomboy and embraced gender-bending practices. Yet when I was stuck inside with boys, I was violating these gendered norms even more. This act of “Garfinkeling”, whereby I was undoing gendered expectations in the privacy of my home was empowering and relaxing.

At the time I was a woman in a man’s world, literally!

What about when lockdown ends…is this still acceptable to act like this?

Consciously Reclaiming Femininity.

When “freedom day” came on May 17th 2021, I asked myself have I forgotten how to be a woman? And how do I “do” gender properly?

I had spent months inside gaming, wearing pyjamas and dragging myself out of bed to the desk.

I had no care in the world surrounding what I was wearing. I did not need to stress about looks in my own home. My housemates were used to my sloppy side and so was I.

For the first time in my life there was zero anxiety about what to wear. What was expected of me, or what I was supposed to be conforming to.

I was not alone here as in 2020, clothes sales slumped 25.1% as no one needed new or fancy clothes (see below).

Your clothes say a lot about you. They are status symbols. They define you and they are a significant part of your identity.

I had not been out in months. So now I need to use my wardrobe to reclaim my femininity! I wanted to “dress like a girl” and be glamorous for the first time in months.

Now was the time to impress and put on the best and most authentic performance. Let’s show the world that I can be feminine!

This initial moment was huge and of heightened importance. It represented a “magnified moment” in my lifetime. Want to learn more about moments like these? Check out this link: ‘Barbie Girls Versus Sea Monsters’.

You are Actually Going Out…It is NOT on Zoom!

After comfort dressing for months in the confines of my home, fashion had been the last thing on my mind. In fact, fashion had been non-existent for a long period of time. My wardrobe remained untouched. As a result, the anticipation of freedom created a sense of anxiety, specifically amongst women (see below).

I don’t usually wear high heels, dresses or make-up…but I felt the need to. I was left asking ‘Why was this? Why do I have the desire to “dress myself up”?’

Yet everyone was doing it as in 2021 online searches for high heels and dresses were up by 197% and 176%.

Post-Lockdown Revenge Dressing.

“Revenge dressing” was made famous by Princess Diana in 1994. Her jaw dropping “revenge dress” was worn at the Serpentine Gallery. She wanted to hit back at Prince Charles’ infidelity and show him what he was missing.

Yet, a new trend of revenge dressing was emerging due to COVID-19 restrictions being lifted. The pandemic has given a whole new meaning to revenge dressing. Post-lockdown statement outfits were bolder, brighter and better than ever before.

After all the talk of freedom day, my femininity fears peaked. I had to be the best and most glamorous version of me.

Everyone began treating the walk into Turtle Bay for bottomless brunch as their first red carpet appearance!

But this left me asking… am I now over-“doing” gender?

Most importantly, I concluded that no I am not overdoing gender. I am a woman reconstructing gender, transforming femininity and hybridizing my identity. I am in control of who I want to be. I can reclaim my femininity by dressing to impress whilst sipping my cosmopolitan. But then I can return home to my jogging bottoms, my pint and my home comforts.

Goodbye lounge pants…for now!

Further Readings:

Evans, C. & Thornton, M. (1991). ‘Fashion, Representation, Femininity’, Feminist Review, 38(1), 48-66.

Muse (2020). 2020 Fashion: A Year in Review. Muse. [online]. Accessed 4 May 2022. <https://www.muse-magazine.com/2020-fashion-a-year-in-review/>

Pomerantz, S. (2008). Girls, Style, and School Identities: Dressing the Part. New York & Basingstoke: Palgrave Macmillan.

West, C. & Zimmerman, D.H. (1987). ‘Doing Gender’, Gender & Society, 1(2), 125-151.

Woodward, S. (2007). Why Women Wear What They Wear. Oxford & New York: Berg Publishers.

Gender, the guitar and why people won’t stop calling Wet-Leg ‘Industry Plants’

by Johnny Hurst

Following CPB-London’s recent ‘imagine a’ campaign:[1] picture a guitarist. Are they a man? They shouldn’t be. Not only should you not assume a man – historically, you should assume a woman. So why has this changed? And how does this relate to the accusations of Wet-Leg being ‘industry plants’? Let’s start at the beginning…

The Guitar and femininity

The association between masculinity and guitars is a relatively recent phenomenon. Originally, the guitar was a paradigmatic feminine instrument. In 1783, Carl Junker named the guitar’s predecessors[1] as one of the 4 women-appropriate instruments (Stenstadvold, 2013). In the early 1700s, Roger North echoes this judgement (ibid). These pro-women guitar stances weren’t a stand against sexism: the guitar’s slender frame allowed women to remain elegant whilst playing. The guitar was also not a professional instrument[2] – it was an amateur instrument, played at home (Stenstadvold, 2013), accompanying[3] another instrument (Jackson, 2020). Thus, the project for modern women guitarists is not to create a feminine space in the guitar-world, but to reclaim it.

So, when did guitar’s feminine-status decline? Pinpointing a date here is difficult. Whilst the well-known Delta-Blues players of the early 20th Century are all men,[4] we have to recognise that history might be filtering out women-guitarists of this time through looking backwards with a guitar-as-masculine lens. Elizabeth Cotten writes Freight Train 20 years before Robert Johnson steps into a studio. Cotten even used a left-handed-upside-down string technique,[5] later used by[6] male-guitarists Albert King and Jimi Hendrix. Sister Rosetta-Tharpe could be seen ripping on an SG Custom in the early 1960s. So when did the change occur?

Strohm points to the invention of the electric guitar (Weinstein, 2013). This makes sense: before amplification, the guitarist had the quiet role at the back of the Big-Band. Once amplified, the guitar could take the lead role (ibid).

 

Enter the men. Amplification permits distortion: the aggressive sound of rock. Here we start to see the masculine paradigms work their way in. Then comes the virtuoso; the fiery and phallic displays in the late 1960s.[7] This trajectory continued: think 1970’s and 1980’s “masturbatory” (Weinstein, 2013, p. 144) guitar solos[8] – the guitar was cemented as a masculine domain.

So how did this affect guitars?

Firstly, once the guitar had been made masculine, the unspoken rule of ‘standard’ coming to mean ‘masculine’ instantiated itself.[9] The masculine way of playing guitar became the standard way of playing guitar. Deviation from this standard was/is seen as a mark of the amateur. Look at how Jett, St. Vincent and Millington[10] stand in powerful, assertive, masculine poses when performing.[11]

Masculine-as-standard worked in another way: guitars were now made for male-bodies. A standard-size guitar today is not a standard-sized guitar for a human body; it’s the standard-size for a male body. Perez (2019) talks about this problem for pianos: the keyboard was designed with only male hands in mind.[12] This can be seen in the size difference between guitar brands like Teisco in the 1950s[13] and the larger Gibson and Fender guitars that continued from the 50s onwards. Teisco guitars are shorter, so are retrospectively dubbed as student/3/4 sized[14] guitars. Perhaps they’re not smaller versions of ‘standard-sized’ guitars, they are just guitars not made for men! Moreover, guitars such as Teiscos had a revival in women-driven punk-bands. Perhaps they wanted to use a guitar that fits![15]

Thus women in the modern-age are faced with a dilemma: they must play guitar like a man[16] on an instrument that is too big for them to do so. Here enters Wet-Leg.

Wet-Leg and unapologetic rejection of normative-masculinity

Wet-Leg are a new alternative band. Neither Wet-Leg guitarist plays with the violence, aggression or domination of the instrument that the male-standardised perspective insists on.[17] Wet-Leg doesn’t need to perform masculinity to perform the role of guitarist; they perform the role of ‘guitarist’ continuously with their performance of femininity.

Against the masculine-as-standard backdrop, Wet-Leg’s deviation from masculine-styles of guitar-playing is viewed as a deviation from ‘good’ guitar-playing. One video that centres Wet-Leg’s guitar-style is riddled with comments expressing their disgust for it. So Wet-Leg refuse to play guitar like men. And thus fuels the fire of ‘industry plant’ accusations.

Inference to Industry Plants

Innumerous Tiktok comments accuse Wet-Leg of being ‘Industry Plants’.[18] Whilst there’s no single reason why, I think their rejection of masculinity-as-standard is a strong factor.

Viewers see Wet-Leg’s non-masculine style of playing, and because non-masculine is seen as bad, Wet-Leg’s guitar-playing is seen as bad/amateur. If Wet-Leg are amateur musicians, then how have they had viral hits? The answer is simple! Wet-Leg’s success is the industries work, not theirs! Thus the apparent inability of Wet-Leg’s guitarists is squared with their commercial success.

Only, the viewer is wrong; they’ve mistaken non-masculine guitar-playing for bad guitar-playing. Wet-Leg aren’t amateur guitarists, they are women guitarists who have succeeded on their own merit! It turns out, Wet-Leg are actually just a decent band!

 [1] The Lute and Zither

[2] The guitar not being part of the orchestra

[3] Read: being subservient to

[4] Think Robert Johnson, Son House, Lightning Hopkins…

[5] Seen being used by Cotten herself here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUK8emiWabU

[6] And often incorrectly credited to

[7] Think Jimi Hendrix’s wild onstage movements, and sitting his guitar on fire at the Monterey Pop Festival in 1967

[8] Think Van Halen, Guns ‘n Roses, Bon Jovi, Def Leppard…

[9] For a more detailed discussion of male-as-standard phenomena across historical data and modern society, see Perez’s “Invisible Women” (Perez, 2019)

[10] Of the 1970s all female rock group ‘Fanny’ who I recommend. Especially their cover of Marvin Gaye’s ‘Ain’t that Peculiar’

[11] I’m not saying here that these fantastic female guitar-players are ‘pretending to be men’, but instead pointing out that we seem to celebrate and hold in higher acclaim female guitarists who play guitar ‘like men’.

[12] See Perez (2019) Chapter 7: One-Size-Fits-Men

[13] Production ending early 1960s

[14] Presumably ¾ the size of a standard male body

[15] Where more standard brands of guitar were used, female alternative rock bands often use guitar models with shorter scale lengths, such as the Fender Mustang, or Gibson Les Paul Jr (notice the ‘Jr’: it’s the smaller, younger and inferior guitar to the flagship, men-in-mind Gibson Les Paul).

[16] With deliberate reference here to Young’s (1980) ‘Throwing Like a Girl’

[17] See an example of Wet Leg’s Teasdale playing guitar here: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMLf7ybTN/?k=1

[18] An Industry Plant is a band/artist manufactured by a record label to be commercially successful, though presented as a grass-roots musician.

[1]https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.instagram.com%2Fp%2FCa2WkCbsudA%2F%3Futm_medium%3Dcopy_link%26fbclid%3DIwAR3iZduqT2x-_4NxUQh8dpByUrmBDp4oEZSO8rMILcTnFF0izCVKOsEaqKc&h=AT1E5QZMoawxA48ZUgQKnVYYJ8BIHSzamX_oSsYbj-5sfjThHBbQKbPLBFvWs-LiavMUA3l_LK3BvvD2SGtZoysUaNVpsb7hKe9A65MOdqx1V0IFILn4mQKJTkYi7TENzmspfg

Further Reading:

Industry Plants – Another Form of Sexism in Music – Amika Moser

A nice short piece by Amika Moser on how accusations of industry plants are linked with sexism.

https://www.unpublishedzine.com/music-1/industry-plants-another-form-of-sexism-in-music

At First, the Guitar was a “Women’s Instrument” – Ashawnta Jackson

A short article from Ashawnta Jackson on the historical relationship between women and the guitar, which served as the inspiration for this blog post

At First, the Guitar Was a “Women’s Instrument”

“Women and the Electric Guitar” – Mavis Bayton (Chapter 3 of ‘Sexing the Groove”, edited by Sheila Whiteley

A moderately long piece on the Electric Guitar and women, touching on Gender Performance à la Judith Butler

https://womeninmusic.voices.wooster.edu/wp-content/uploads/sites/123/2017/12/Bayton-Women-and-the-Electric-Guitar.pdf

 Rock’s Guitar Gods — Avatars of the Sixties – Deena Weinstein

An academic article discussing the image of the Guitar God in the 1960s – see page 151 onwards for Weinstein’s discussion of masculinity!

https://www.jstor.org/stable/24467204

 Wet Leg’s Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/2TwOrUcYnAlIiKmVQkkoSZ?si=vI5Hbi0mR6imstryitFlhg

Chaise-Longue is currently their biggest hit

 

Works Cited

Jackson, A., 2020. At First, the Guitar Was a “Women’s Instrument”. [Online]
Available at: https://daily.jstor.org/at-first-the-guitar-was-a-womens-instrument/
[Accessed 12 03 2022].

Perez, C. C., 2019. Invisible Women: Exposing data bias in a world designed for men. London: Chatto & Windus.

Stenstadvold, E., 2013. ‘We hate the guitar’: prejudice and polemic in the music press in early 19th-century Europe. Early Music, 41(4), pp. 595-604.

Weinstein, D., 2013. Rock’s Guitar Gods — Avatars of the Sixties. Archiv für Musikwissenschaft, Volume 70, pp. 139-154.

Young, I. M., 1980. Throwing like a girl: A phenomenology of feminine body comportment motility and spatiality. Human Studies, 3(1), pp. 137 – 156.

 

 

Does university rugby culture reinforce hegemonic masculinity?

by Olivia Heathfield

“All the freshers have to down pints… eat cat food, and lots of other random things” (Dempster, 2009:490).

Hegemonic masculinity is a concept that was developed by Connell (1987). This type of masculinity is considered to be the most dominant and idealised form of masculinity. It is commonly displayed by young, white, male adults who behave in ways that are considered ‘normative’. Connell (1995) explained that hegemonic masculinity was displayed in sporting activities at universities and I consider that rugby boys at Exeter University are definitely seen as the ideal by many other students at this university.

Rugby Varsity

Exeter University is one of the top universities for rugby. Each year, two big varsity matches are held where students can watch and support Exeter’s 1st rugby team. The rest of the Rugby Society congregate together in the stands… and there are a lot of them. To say they are hard to miss is an understatement. Firstly, they are all dressed in the same brown chinos, blue shirt and green tie, highlighting their collective sporting success (Dempster, 2009). Secondly, you can hear them drunkenly chanting from a mile away. They start drinking hours before the match and their rehearsed chants contain lyrics which are insulting and derogatory. For example, when Exeter played against Cardiff Met, the Exeter rugby boys chanted “Your mum cleans Lafrowda”. This chant implies that students at Cardiff Met are from less privileged backgrounds because they attend a non-Russell group university. Thus, Exeter rugby boys are attempting to show off academically as well as through sport. Obnoxiously insulting the other university clearly displays elements of hegemonic masculinity – they are ultimately trying to prove that they are the best. Moreover, at several varsity matches I witnessed physical fights between the rugby boys from Exeter and the rugby boys from the opposing university. Again, this is a way that rugby boys assert their dominance over others in order to prove that they are at the top of the masculinity hierarchy.

TP Wednesdays

Many of the rugby boys fit the idealised masculine body image – big, tall, muscly, strong (Light and Kirk, 2010). Therefore, it is not surprising that the rugby boys draw a lot of attention to themselves during a Wednesday TP (Timepiece) night out. Just like at varsity, they wear the same brown chinos, blue shirt and green tie and so, along with their tall and muscular physique, they are very easy to spot in the club. They are able to “brand themselves”, making them stand out from the “common herd” (Dempster, 2009:491). Moreover, they have a reputation for engaging in multiple sexual relations. According to Dempster (2009), rugby boys at universities view women as sexual objects, and I agree that the rugby culture at Exeter university encourages this. This is an element of hegemonic masculinity as this group holds dominance over women (Connell and Messerschmidt, 2005). So, on a Wednesday night in TP, it almost seems like a competition as to who can ‘pull’ the most girls. They do this to show off their sexual prowess and ultimately, prove that they are the most idealised, masculine man. This is reinforced further by the fact that many girls view this type of man as the most attractive (Light and Kirk, 2000). If girls want you, then you are doing something right… I guess.

Rugby Socials

Heavy drinking at university is considered to be a behaviour that displays elements of hegemonic masculinity (Dempster, 2009). Exeter rugby boys commonly engage in heavy drinking, especially during their Wednesday sports socials. They show off their masculinity by proving that they can drink multiple pints or by drinking a pint as quickly as they can. At socials, they are constantly forced to drink. I was very surprised when my friend who is in the Exeter Rugby Society told me that he drank 22 pints within the space of 2 hours! Also, freshers (first years), as part of their initiation, are forced to engage in acts that highlight their ability to withstand pain and embarrassment. These acts include getting naked and drinking or eating things like cat food (Dempster, 2009). Quite frankly, you do not even want to know what one boy drank this year in order to earn the role of the mascot at varsity.

Not all rugby boys?

It is easy to stereotype all boys who play rugby at Exeter university as rowdy, obnoxious, intimidating and disrespectful to girls. Individually, most of these boys appear to be nice and normal. Yet, when they come together, they perhaps feel that they have to prove their masculinity in the face of other boys who are also trying to be the most idealised form of masculinity. Gender acts as a key feature of one’s identity, and Warin and Dempster (2007:891) argue that through gender, “laddishness” is adopted “as a form of social currency in the early stages of their new lives at university”. Therefore, it can be argued that hegemonic masculinity is adopted by rugby boys at Exeter University because their rugby culture reinforces this type of masculinity.

 

Connell, R. 1995. Masculinities. Cambridge: Polity.

Connell, R. 1987. Gender and power. Sydney, Australia: Allen and Unwin.

Connell, R.W. and Messerschmidt, J.W., 2005. Hegemonic masculinity: Rethinking the concept. Gender & society19(6), pp.829-859.

Dempster, S., 2009. Having the balls, having it all? Sport and constructions of undergraduate laddishness. Gender and education21(5), pp.481-500.

Light, R. and Kirk, D., 2000. High school rugby, the body and the reproduction of hegemonic masculinity. Sport, education and society5(2), pp.163-176.

Warin, J. and Dempster, S., 2007. The salience of gender during the transition to higher education: male students’ accounts of performed and authentic identities. British Educational Research Journal33(6), pp.887-903.

‘I’m not like other girls’

by Paige Parsons

…Hmm, not like other girls, or a case of internalised misogyny?

Since I was little, I have heard this comment voiced from many women, often as a way to distance from ‘typical’ perceptions of femininity. Maybe from women who don’t like painting their nails, or wearing makeup, but who like to drink pints, those who swear (too vulgar!), or burp (definitely not ‘lady like’- whatever that means).

This comment, escaped from the mouths of many (myself included), is both familiar and complicated. What does it mean to be like other girls? Why are you not one of them?

We know women are weak, erratically emotional, and exist to please the gaze of men, or so they have us believe. If this is what women are bound by, then perhaps I’m not like other girls either.

Now, I know this is based on a rigid framework of stereotypes, stemming from our need to label our identity to navigate the world (Delphy, 1993). But as a re-occurring observation I have made, and continue to make, it has consequences for the respect (or lack of) for femininity.

‘I’m not like other girls’ holds other women in a box of confinement (one labelled girly girls, perhaps), their box placed lower on the hierarchy of gender. Girly girls, as we know them, can be explored through an emphasized femininity (see Connell, 1987). This is the expectation of women to conform to a desirable view of femininity, an ideal characterised by subordination (to men) and heterosexuality (having sexual feelings for the opposite sex).

Now, I do not want to blame women (or men) here….everybody has been boxed by the system that is patriarchy, a social system where power is gendered so that masculinity is dominant (Johnson, 2006).

This comment does not simply undermine other women purposefully (although it continues to spread narratives that paint femininity as lesser). Rather, society has a case of internalised misogyny (Manne, 2018), where sexist ideas and disrespect towards women (and femininity) have been engrained into our thoughts.

What does this mean?

We have internalised ideas that women as weak, inferior and have certain characteristics, e.g., appearance obsessed (we might blame beauty/advertisement organisations) or needing a man to feel fulfilled (we might thank traditional fairy tales), but let’s leave that for another day.

These ideas are expressed through our actions, towards ourselves (self-regulation and objectification, see Enson, 2017) and towards other women. Let’s say… the assumption that women should have less sex than men as to maintain ‘purity’ and ‘innocence’…. (Ironic right, as women are apparently existent for the sexual pleasure of men).

Having internalised misogynistic attitudes, distance from these may foster feelings of superiority, moving one closer to ideas of masculinity. I mean, in a patriarchal society, who can blame us? We have learnt that it provides acceptance in the social world….

But, through devaluing other women, we do not increase our own value (on a wide scale, anyhow), but rather, we maintain sexist ideas that continue to mobilise the box that is femininity.

So, through saying (and believing) ‘I’m not like other girls’, we continue to fragment femininity, creating competition and tension between women. Consequently, the patriarchy is supported as well as the division that is central to its power.

Let’s not forget, gender is fluid (Beasley, 2005). An individual may express the comment as to genuinely explore and signal a lack of alignment with the female identity. We must reflect on comments, thoughts, and actions as to question how and why we position ourselves and others, particularly as meaning is communicated through the language we use (Crawford, 1995).

Who are these other girls?

The other girls… Are they able-bodied? Are they white? Are they black? Are they young? Are the old? Are they slim? Are they fat?

These are important questions. The answers reflect the way normative (and emphasized) femininity has been presented to us. Whether that is through the media, television, books, or beauty industries. The way we recognise the ‘other’ girls can impact how we reconcile, respect or celebrate feminine identities.

Juliehangart 2020

 

So, although an innocent comment at first, ‘I’m not like other girls’ reinforces femininity as an inferior identity. These repetitive interactions nurture misogynistic attitudes (Manne, 2018), shedding light on the ways women are subtly subordinated.

Remember, men have internalised this too. It is not masculinity vs. femininity, but rather patriarchy vs. us all.

 

So yeah, I am like other girls: strong, diverse, intelligent, interesting, wonderful, and complexly unique; remembering that one expression of gender is no more valid than another.

References

Beasley, C. (2005) Gender and Sexuality: critical theories, critical thinkers. London: SAGE Publications.

Connell, R. W. (1987) Gender and Power. Society, the Person and Sexual Politics. Cambridge: Polity Press.

Crawford, M. (1995) Talking Difference: On Gender and Language. London: SAGE Publications.

Delphy, C. (1993) ‘Rethinking Sex and Gender’, Women’s Studies International Forum, 16(1), pp1-9.

Enson, S. (2017) ‘Evaluating the impact of hyper-sexualisation on the lives of young people.’ British Journal of School Nursing. 12(6), pp. 274-278.

Johnson, A.G. (2006) Privilege, Power, and Difference. 2nd Edn. New York: McGraw- Hill.

Juliehangart (2020). Available at: https://www.demilked.com/not-like-other-girls-comic-julie-hang/ (Accessed on 7th March 2022).

Manne, K. (2018) Down girl: the logics of misogyny. New York: Oxford University Press.

Rajagopalan, H. (2017). Comic: What is Intersectional Feminism? Available at: https://feminisminindia.com/2017/04/08/comic-intersectional-feminism/ (Accessed on 7th March 2022)

Stanford, Q. (2019) Available at: https://allears.net/2019/11/27/theres-big-changes-coming-to-snow-whites-scary-adventures-in-disneyland-next-year/ (Accessed on 7th March 2022)

Vector (2021). Available at: https://www.shutterstock.com/image-vector/multiracial-women-different-figure-type-size-1263222466 (Accessed on: 7th March 2022)

Why I Am No Longer Talking to My Boyfriend about Surnames

Gigi Allen

My boyfriend and I rarely argue and if we do, we usually come to a solution. Except for one topic that we just cannot seem to agree on: Last names.

Unfortunately, my boyfriend, let’s call him Chris, and I realized that we want different things regarding surnames after marriage.

Thankfully, it has become a joke between us.

Ever since I was little, I have wanted to keep my surname. I think because I realized that if my sister and I both changed our names, our surname would die out with us.

Chris also wants to aid in the longevity of his surname. He has a strong connection with his surname and a desire to keep it as a part of his identity, which I cannot fault him for, I feel the same way about my last name.

My solution: having a double-barrelled name for both of us.

The issue is that my boyfriend is less willing to adopt a double-barrelled name and suggested that he would rather that he kept his name as is, while only I adopt the hyphenated name. This would mean that I would have some name connection to our children. However, I think this is not a fair solution.

I must note that my boyfriend is a feminist and strongly supports equality between men and women and meant the above comment as a joke mostly, so I do not mean to do him a disservice.

However… Am I going to use a whole blog post to show how he is wrong? Yes, I am.

Names are intrinsically linked with our identities. Sociologists Norbert Elias (1991) and Jane Pilcher (2017:812) argued that surnames are for connecting individuals to their family identity (1991:209). Therefore, when people get married and change their names, they are symbolising becoming one family. This is usually done by taking the man’s name.

If surnames are a way of connecting a family together and building kinship. Should the woman’s family not also be given the opportunity to be connected to the grandchildren?

Pilcher further argues that names are a way of building and displaying our sex and gender. Names contribute to how we culturally “do gender”, therefore by heterosexual women resisting the norm and choosing to keep their surname, they are “re-doing gender” and contributing to changing how we are culturally “supposed” to act according to our gender (2017: 812).

In Pilcher’s exploration of Names and “Doing Gender”, she finds that the cultural practices of taking just the man’s surname only further perpetuates the inequalities between men and women and serves as “an indicator of inequality in the gender order” (Pilcher, 2017:817):

“The perpetuation of family surname choices in which men’s surnames are favoured over women’s have been recognized by both the United Nations (1979) and the Council of Europe (2008) as a political issue of (in)equality.”                                                                                        (Pilcher, 2017: 816)

I understand the tradition and simplicity of taking just one last name. It saves future generations from choosing between two last names and trying to blend with their partner’s surnames. But I think that incorporating both surnames is an important step forward for gender equality and re-doing gender norms.

Chris argues that if we did have a hyphenated name, then our children would just have to pick between the two when they get married. He argues that this could lead to his name being dropped and forgotten. This is a fair worry in my opinion. However, is it fair for my name to be forgotten to potentially prevent the same thing from happening to his last name?

I am not saying every couple should adopt a double-barrelled surname. Surnames should be a choice rather than an expectation, something that all partners agree upon.

From the few opinion articles I have read, written by men, to understand the other side of this debate (see Fordy, Telegraph, 2015), they seem to have the view that this is their last cling to their male identity in an increasingly feminist world.

In all fairness, I can understand their frustration. It must suck to be the first male in your lineage to have to fight for a right that was just given to your forefathers.

But you know what also sucks? Not even being able to fight for that right in the first place.

It is very telling that this right, which is so thoughtlessly handed to men, is something that women have to continually fight for and defend, even today.

I am not asking for my boyfriend to take my last name and revoke his own, I am not asking for our children to only have my surname, somethings which men have not even asked but expected women to do for thousands of years. I am asking for equality. I am asking for a double-barrelled name, which would mean that both of us have equally changed and accepted each other’s names as part of our identity, while also helping to resist gender inequality.

 

Bibliography:

Elias, N., 1991. The Society of Individuals. London: The Continuum International Publishing Group.

Fordy, T., 2015. It’s wrong for kids not to have their father’s surname. [online] The Telegraph. Available at: <https://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/relationships/fatherhood/11768048/Its-wrong-for-kids-not-to-have-their-fathers-surname.html> [Accessed 6 March 2021].

Pilcher, J., 2017. Names and “Doing Gender”: How Forenames and Surnames Contribute to Gender Identities, Difference, and Inequalities. Sex Roles, 77(11-12), pp.812-822.

 

5 children’s books for the gender conscious family

Maxime Perrott

Reading books together as a family is one of the most beneficial ways to reconnect with each other after a busy day. But also, to share stories that reflect the beliefs and values we want our children to be surrounded by.

Research has shown that children can be seen to ‘do gender’ at a young age. Where in a range of social contexts children establish and enforce gender boundaries in ways that reflect their ideas of gender difference (Messner 2000). Therefore, it is up to us to show them that a child’s gender should not, and need not, constrain them. So, all children are free to become and be whatever they want in life.

Here I have collected 5 of my favourite books that tackle the sometimes-complex concept of gender. Along with a summary of recent parent reviews from Amazon. These are books for all the family to enjoy. They are unified in the message that every child can really be anything, and express themselves, in any way they want.

  1. Gender Swapped Fairy Tales.

This is a beautiful and thoughtful book comprised of classic tales many

will be familiar with. With the gender identifiers switched. None of the original story lines have been tampered with and the moral endings remain the same, just the characters’ genders have been swapped.

The original illustrations are beautifully designed full of colour. This book is sure to captivate the whole family and can be read together for years to come.

What parents say:

From the 10 most recent reviews, 7 are positive. These are centred around how the small change of gender seems to really impact the story telling and how it has brought to parents’ attention that some of the most loved and well-known fairy tales have shaped our perceptions of gender. The less positive reviews commented on the awkward wording of the stories and how they are at times, inappropriate for very young children.

  1. Julian is a Mermaid.

I found this to be a charming picture book. It tells the story of young Julian who, after seeing three women dressed up on the subway one day, creates himself a fabulous mermaid costume.

A story full of heart, this is a book all about individuality and at its core a champion for self-confidence and love. And if you and your family enjoy this book there is also a sequel Julian at the Wedding.

What parents say:

This book has 5 stars and over 2,500 reviews on Amazon, so definitely a firm favourite with many parents. It is described as a ‘joy’. Reviewers commented on how it is beautifully written and illustrated, pointing out how Julian’s Nana is written as being calm and accepting.

  1. What are little girls made of?

This is a clever and funny book that comprises of revamped traditional nursery rhymes with a feminist twist. Full of witty illustrations these new and improved nursery rhymes champion the idea that girls can do whatever and be whatever they want, and most importantly are the heroes of any story!

This is a fun and easy to read book for the family to share together and especially for those with children aged between 3 and 5.

What parents say:

The 190 online reviews are largely positive and emphasis the empowering message of this book. It is routinely described as fun, refreshing and a must read for any family raising girls in this ‘new and modern world of gender equality.’

 

However, we still have a long road ahead for achieving true gender equality. Women are still routinely missing from top jobs in many industries, and although progress has been made in some areas, it remains too slow (Kaur 2020). And a recent survey carried out for the UN found that 97% of women have been sexually harassed in the UK (Advanced Pro Bono 2021).

Figures like these, show why it is so important to normalise the idea of gender equality from a young age and really encourage our young girls and boys to become whatever they want to be. But also, to be true to themselves, and not pre-defined gender norms. 

If these are topics that interest you, and you would like to learn more, please see the ‘Further Reading’ section at the end of this article

 

  1. Little Feminist Picture Book (Little People Big Dreams collection)

A great book honouring 25 amazing women throughout history. Featuring politicians, athletes, scientists, artists and more, I found this book inspiring and really champions the idea that any young girl can become whatever they want to be.

As part of the Little People Big Dreams book collection there are plenty more inspiring reads to collect. Although I recommend this as the starting book for the collection. Especially for families with pre-school aged children, as it comes in hardcover and the short biographies are easy and enjoyable to read as a family.

What parents say:

Unsurprisingly, given the popularity of this collection, comments are overwhelmingly positive about this book. With 9 out of ten of the most recent reviews scoring it 5 stars. Reviewers comment on how well received the book is by their children and the inspiring women that are included.

 

  1. Good night stories for rebel girls/Good night stories for boys who dare to be different.

Although technically two books, I just could not mention one without the other! These are award winning, bestseller books for a reason. I found these books full of inspiring women and men, who despite of constricting gender norms and difficult backgrounds have gone on to become amazing people and do amazing things.

I think these are wonderful books to empower young boys and girls. And no doubt they will start many meaningful conversations and be enjoyed by all the family.

What parents say:

These books have received 5 and 4.5 stars on Amazon, respectively. And with over 8,000 combined ratings, parents are unanimously positive about these books. Comments note the inspirational people included and the way their children enjoyed the books. Both books have been described as must-read books and really showcase the many different types of girls and boys who have gone done simply amazing things in life.

References:

Advance Pro Bono. 2021. Prevalence and reporting of sexual harassment in UK public spaces: A report by the APPG for UN Women. London: APPG for UN Women.

Kaur, S. 2020. Sex and Power 2020. London: Fawcett Society.

Messner, M. A. 2000. Barbie Girls Versus Sea Monsters: Children Constructing Gender. Gender and Society 14(6), pp. 765 – 784.

 

Further Reading:

Gender Equality in the Workplace:

Article written by the guardian, titled ‘UK still “generations away” from equality in top jobs, study shows.’ This is available online:

UK still ‘generations away’ from equality in top jobs, study shows | Gender | The Guardian

Journal article discussing some of the reasons for inequality in the workplace:

Reskin. B. F. 1987. Bringing the men back in: Sex differentiation and the Devaluation of Women’s work. Gender and Society 2(1), pp. 58-81.

An ESRC funded report by the Institute of Fiscal Studies detailing the nature of the gender wage gap in the UK:

Dias, M. C. et al. 2016. The Gender Pay Gap. London: The Institute for Fiscal Studies.

 

Sexual Harassment of Women:

Article written by the Guardian: ‘Almost all young women in the UK have been sexually harassed, survey finds’ This is available online:

Almost all young women in the UK have been sexually harassed, survey finds | Sexual harassment | The Guardian

Journal article reviewing literature on workplace sexual harassment:

McDonald, P. 2012. Workplace Sexual Harassment 30 years on: A Review of the Literature. International Journal of Management Reviews 14, pp. 1 – 17.

Why is Ed Sheeran so popular at weddings?

Studying sociology is a great opportunity to try to answer life’s big questions – why do people fall into patterns of behaviour? What enables some groups to wield power over others? And why do so many people enjoy the music of Ed Sheeran?

Sheeran is not only one of the most popular musicians in the UK right now, he’s also the most popular at weddings. Spotify recently released data on the top 10 “first dance” songs chosen by UK couples and he features three times in this list, twice for two versions of the same song (Perfect, released in 2017). Does Ed Sheeran have a formula for writing a successful wedding song?

Ed Sheeran Perfect video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Vv-BfVoq4g

 Wedding music as a public but intimate choice

 Making personal music choices for a public occasion is a tightrope walk, as anyone who’s planned the music for a wedding or funeral knows well. In a social setting, something like Perfect ticks all the boxes: it sets the scene, everyone knows it, it’s the right tempo for an easy waltz, and it’s middle-of-the-road enough not to cause offence. But there might be other reasons for using it that have more to do with the history of gender-segregated domestic duties.

Wedding planning as “women’s work”

 Although there’s disagreement over the rate of change in the last 100 years, it’s widely accepted that domestic labour is still largely the woman’s domain in a heterosexual relationship (this 2016 report from the Office for National Statistics found that women still do 60% more unpaid work than men). Of course, domestic labour isn’t just hoovering and doing the dishes – it’s diary management and planning social engagements too, and wedding planning is often an extension of this, done almost exclusively by women (there’s academic research on this, by Tamara Sniezek and D.H. Currie, but there’s also this clip from when Monica and Chandler planned their wedding in Friends).

In 2005, Tamara Sniezek interviewed heterosexual engaged couples about their wedding planning. She found three things that are relevant to my Ed Sheeran question:

  1. When you ask couples about the detail of who did each part of the practical planning work, you will find that women do the overwhelming majority of it
  2. But when you ask vague questions like “how was the wedding work divided?” they often claim it was 50/50, and every couple interviewed by Sniezek repeatedly described it as a joint enterprise
  3. Couples generally use the details of their wedding, including the music, to express their “couple identity”, and this is often based around an idea of equality and teamwork… even if the person arranging all these details is doing the overwhelming bulk of the work in the face of apathy from their partner.

Perhaps this cognitive dissonance speaks to some mixed feelings about entering into the institution of marriage. The situation for women in marriage is still unfair, and still carries with it certain expectations of doing unpaid work in the home – the modern bride may be looking out for ways to say “I’m not that kind of wife, I’m this kind of wife.” To the congregation and, perhaps, to her new husband.

 

Using wedding music to tell a story

 Aside from the speeches, the ‘first dance’ is a couple’s first opportunity to set out their stall as a respectful equal partnership, expressing their identity in opposition to the generations that have gone before. Ed Sheeran’s Perfect is the, ahem, perfect example of a pop song that gives the “right message”:

“Well I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know
She shares my dreams, I hope that someday I’ll share her home
I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets
To carry love, to carry children of our own”

It emphasises the bride’s strength, refers to her home, and tells a story of teamwork and sharing. But perhaps the couples who dance to it are unwittingly revealing some more traditional views as well. In other lines, like “I found a girl beautiful and sweet” / “the someone waiting for me” / “Be my girl, I’ll be your man”, Perfect is no different from any other romantic pop ballad, reducing the female character to a pretty “girl” with no agency.

As a whole, the song represents a balance between the traditional roles some may still see as romantic, and the modern ideal of equality.

The Perfect relationship?

We live in confusing times, where our behaviours don’t necessarily line up with our attitudes. Although most heterosexual couples want to be seen as a balanced partnership, their division of all kinds of unpaid labour are unlikely to live up to this utopia. They give us a specific public narrative at their wedding to paper over the cracks, or perhaps to create a vision of how they would like their relationship to be.

When Ed Sheeran wrote Perfect, he gave marrying couples a gender-equal message to use for this purpose, within a framework of all the familiar male and female roles, in a society where wedding planning is still part of an uneven set of wifely expectations we are clearly uncomfortable with.

 

Leah Boundy